She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
wow bdsm is so cute
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
