i permit you to call me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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