literally had 100 drinks last night.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
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French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
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You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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