I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
