She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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