somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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