Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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