so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
