Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
