you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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