yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
