I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
