Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
