I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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