wat bout pragnant strippers??
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
