Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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