im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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