Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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