my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
