I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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