your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
