Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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