the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
