Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize