Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

Fav 2 849 2016
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(702): View more from Nevada

yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.

Fav 12 2368 800
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(858): View more from California

You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

Fav 19 13055 1324
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.

Fav 33 6071 1214
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(718): View more from New York

you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"

Fav 22 1351 4832
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(214): View more from Texas

What do you think it is?

(615): View more from Tennessee

It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

Fav 12 5538 2083
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(812): View more from Indiana

well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

Fav 2 1433 813
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(845): View more from New York

I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise

Fav 3 612 378
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(312): View more from Illinois

I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.

Fav 0 35 43
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