And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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