my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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