What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
