gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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