last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
