i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
