I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
