I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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