Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
