The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
