Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
