Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
