Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
