yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
