U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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