I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
