this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize