i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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