the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
