You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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