I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
