Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
