Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
