Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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