I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
