I want to make a zoo with you.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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