my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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