clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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