Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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