Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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