how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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