For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
