So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
