If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
