how can u be prego again
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
