Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
