he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Randomize
