when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
